Updated: Dec 12, 2021
So what is buffering?
Buffering is when we use external things to change how we feel emotionally.
Buffering is something we do to keep from fully experiencing our lives, to hide from reality, to procrastinate, to not show up and face the music.
We don't want to face the truth of our lives because we don't want to experience any type of negative emotion. We feel entitled to feel happiness and pleasure all of the time.
Picture this: When you go to log on to your computer or upload a file and your computer has a symbol that’s a circle and it spins for a while as the information needs to be rendered so you can access it. While that is happening you’re in a stand , a pause. You’re not moving forward and you’re not moving backwards.
You are waiting.
Progress is stalled.
Now think of when you drink or over drink. You are in a similar stand still experience. You’re not necessarily making progress and you’re not really in a state of mind where growth is occurring. It seemed like a good idea at the time to just have a break from reality in the form of having a drink or two or three. You’ve thought, “I’d feel better if I had a drink”.
You’re seeking happiness or some level of pleasure.
What if happiness was not the goal?
What if experiencing ALL of life’s emotions was the goal?
We are bombarded with ways to feel pleasure. We therefore feel entitled to pleasure and happiness all of the time.
There is a lot of money made in pleasure. The pleasure of food, the pleasure of drinking, and the pleasure of spending money. Advertisers compound the inclination to seek pleasure by selling us things that concentrate pleasure, or pleasure in heavy doses.
We forget there is pleasure in having less.
Have you considered the possibility that life could be better if you didn't have all those false pleasures?
Giving them up makes us more available to experience the real pleasures in life.
Constraining your drinking makes you more alert and available.
There is freedom in not over drinking.
Most people who over drink feel constrained and isolated. Most people who over drink are also consumed with thoughts of shame, embarrassment, negative self talk and an all over feeling of unhealthiness.
Having Less Gives Us Freedom
What remains when you stop buffering? What would the world be like if you didn't over drink, over eat, overspend, over work, over social media, or over people please? Are you willing to live without any brain substance manipulation, without any false pleasures, without pretend emotions?
Do you want to remove all of those false pleasures and find a way to be happy without them? Do you want to string together a bunch of false pleasures and call that happiness? My guess... absolutely not.
Life is a hard battle. If we could have all of those false pleasures with no consequences, nobody would care.
But there are consequences. Buffering does cause pain. Buffers only provide temporary release from negative emotion, which always comes back harder than it started.
When you go out and buy a car that you can't afford, you have the rush of the purchase but then the monthly payments will always follow.
When you overeat you have the consequence of feeling sick.
When you over drink you have the consequences of hangovers, shame, guilt, and embarrassment.
When you face life head on without the buffers you always come out of it stronger, wiser, more appreciative.
When life throws you a curveball you won't pour yourself a drink. You will still get upset but you'll deal with it differently. You will deal with it by examining your thoughts with a clear mind.
You'll learn that your thoughts create your feelings and your feelings create your actions.
Soon you won't even want a drink because the pleasure we get from alcohol actually diminishes. The pleasure we get from taking care of ourselves and fueling ourselves with intention and purpose increases.
When you trade the false pleasures in your life for well being, you gain confidence, and that confidence begets more confidence, and that confidence begets more confidence, etc.
Your results will be well being, empowerment, purpose, productivity. You'll have more to offer the world. The more you will have to give. That's the point. That's the ultimate happiness.
You will be the best version of yourself and contribute to this world.
There is no better day than right now to invest in yourself. It's time for you to join the Weekdays Without Wine Bootcamp Community.