Updated: May 29, 2021
I'm offering you a short road to the life you want. Don't take the long road... Let me tell you about my long road...
Wake up = shame, regret, guilt, anxiety, embarrassment. Thirsty, dehydrated, bloated, puffy eyes, brain fog, not motivated to exercise but do it anyway. Yet, not a solid mess, but enough that I'm feeling less and less of myself and who I'm really meant to be.
Make coffee = twinges of "Oh, my God, I did it again!"
Wake up kids and make school lunch = Thoughts of "I hope they didn't notice how I behaved last night".
Conversations during breakfast = Kids: "Mom, don't you remember... I already told you that last night. Me: "FU@#! I blew it. I can't remember that conversation at all"! More regret...there really must be something wrong with me.
Noon = getting my work done, feeling empowered to stay on track, motivated, I've got this, I don't need to have a drink tonight. I've exercised, I'm eating on the healthy-ish side...
Late Afternoon = kids home, I can keep it together. Thoughts: "I really do have a great life. Nothing serious has gone wrong. Family is happy, loved, in fact...thriving", "So, what if I have a drink, everyone else does"
Dinner time = "I'll just have one"
Post dinner = "I really don't feel relaxed enough. A second glass isn't too bad, RIGHT?"
Bedtime = Oh crap, I drank the whole bottle again. Oh well... Brush teeth, say good-night (too tired for intimacy).
...Wake up = "Oh shit... again!", "I swear, really this time, I WON'T have a drink tonight... it's just not worth it and I'm tired and exhausted of this merry-go-round ride circus act. Rinse, Repeat, Rinse, Repeat...
And on and on for many years...
Does that sound familiar? You're drinking more than you want to but life still carries on. You have a tug-of-war in your mind. You don't want to drink, but you find yourself reaching for a drink even when you don't know why. You drink just because. You don't know how you got to this point in your life where it is part of your daily routine. It's not like you've hit rock bottom.
You don't want to hit rock bottom! AND... you know you can't continue this habit of over drinking.
Let me offer this: It's OK that you don't have the skills to cut back for good. Why is that OK? No one has taught you how. You've taught your brain to want alcohol, AND you can teach it to not want alcohol. You might not know it, but you're relying on willpower. Willpower alone is not going to make lasting changes. If it did you'd already mastered cutting back. There's more to cutting back than just saying, "NO" and white knuckling it. You want to say "NO" and you want a life where you're not constantly thinking, "I'm missing out".
Don't be mad at me for asking this: Aren't you missing out already, meaning today and everyday when you over drink more often than you want to?
When I asked myself that question I knew I was missing out. I was missing out on what you are probably thinking that you're missing out on:
deeper connections with loved ones
living in my A game
Let me tell you this: I was on the LONG road for so LONG. When I got serious about changing my drinking habit there was not as much knowledge out there as there is today. There were only a few options: AA or Rehab or therapy. I knew, for me, that I wanted something that was forward thinking and not based on my past indiscretions. I searched and searched. I finally found something that worked. My goodness, I wish it hadn't taken so long.
Good News for YOU! There is a short road for you. Yes, it will take work, but at least it won't take you as long as it took me.
I know this is a time of unusual stress. We are uncertain of what tomorrow will bring. I know for certain you don't want to have a hangover or guilt and regret to contend with on top of all of this uncertainty. You want to cope with this with a clear mind. Now more than ever you need to learn the skills to manage your mind so you don't live in regret about over drinking.. you want the skills to manage what is reality in your daily life, TODAY! You want to show up as the best version of you. You want to be as healthy as you can be - both mentally and physically-if for some reason the virus enters your home or a home of a loved one.
✅ P.S. Need a simple to follow step-by-step process to drink less? Check out my signature programs HERE.