Updated: May 29, 2021
Buffering is when we use external things to change how we feel emotionally.
To read all about buffering go to the previous blog HERE to learn.
Imagine your life without the thing you use to buffer. You're going to feel fear and deprivation because you believe you can't survive without it.
Your life without it isn't just tolerable - it's actually way better without it, whatever it is.
What do you feel?
You might feel a little bit of withdrawal.
You might fell a little bit of deprivation.
Ultimately, you'll feel the emotion you're trying so desperately to escape, and that emotion has some important information for you. It's telling you what you're thinking. It's telling you what you're believing. It's telling you how you're going to act and show up in the world.
If you're constantly tying to avoid yourself, you're missing the authenticity of your life.
For most of us, it's not that we're afraid to make ourselves available to the world. It's not that we're afraid of showing up and bing who we genuinely are.
We just really don't know how.
We do't know how to feel all of the emotions that are part of living an authentic life.
Let me tell you a secret. Life is going to be 50% negative emotions and 50% positive emotions.
You need to understand that negative emotions should be listened to and used to manage yourself emotionally and cognitively. Life would be strange if you were always feeling positive emotions. You need to understand what happy is by experiencing sadness. You might be considered odd if you were happy when you receive news about someone you loved death. It is only natural to be sad about certain things.
If you're willing to do that without escape, you remove the buffers in your life, and at the same time you'll remove the negative consequences that come with the buffering.
Imagine trying to clean a messy room with the light off. You are in complete darkness. It's nearly impossible. When the lights are on the mess might seem overwhelming, but you can handle it. You can clean it up. That's the same as going unconscious through buffering with alcohol. You can't clean up you life if you're always buffering. In order to turn the lights back on to clean up whatever needs attention in your life, you need to stop over drinking.
The pain of seeing the messiness in our lives will only be temporary when you stop over drinking.
You don't want a life where you have to keep turning off the lights. You want a life where you're proud to keep the lights on.
You cannot shake the confidence of someone who has given up their buffers.
Go out there, and practice not buffering and see who you really are without it.
✅ P.S. Need a simple to follow step-by-step process to drink less? Check out my signature programs HERE.
Credit: Brooke Castillo The Life Coach School