Updated: May 29, 2021
(Each of these pictures have a different story than what you see. To be honest, it's quite raw for me to post them. Yes, I have a happy and fulfilling life, but behind those eyes was a bunch of struggle, regret and shame).
Several years ago a brave woman, Laura McKowen, started a blog and a podcast during her journey in recovery. One of her posts resonated with me so much. She did a post showing pictures of her life and how there were so many hidden stories behind the photos. Happy faces on the surface, but pain and anxiety inside.
We put out our best pictures on Facebook and Instagram making our lives look neat and tidy. I'm sure there are a lot of people who have wonderful lives that are truly depicted in the posts. For me, just like Laura, there are more pictures than I'd like to have in my iPhoto library that remind me of so many drunk parties and holidays. Hangovers on Christmas and Easter morning.
I'm not writing this to be a Debbie Downer (I do have a TON of great photos when I'm not in the throws of shame and embarrassment, too). I'm just writing it to show that we can all look good on the outside but have a secret eating away at us that creates so much shame and embarrassment.
I could sit here today and wish that those drunken nights, and wasted hangover days never happened. But, I won't because those days wouldn't have lead me to be here where I am now, helping other women stop the torcher of the merry-go-round ride of over drinking and unfulfilled promises to themselves to not have a drink today... The endless Ground Hog's Day (remember that movie with Bill Murray??).
It is still a work in progress for me to forgive myself.
What if it all was supposed to happen just as it did?
My past doesn't define my future.
I promise myself to believe new things.
I've come a long way, baby!
I plan to travel this path with faith, inspiration, confidence and tenacity.
I have more freedom now that I don't drink.
We think drinking gives us freedom and that's the biggest lie. I ALWAYS felt like there was a ball and chain around me when I was constantly trying to decide if I should drink or not, or how much to drink, all of those endless negotiations, and self deprecation.
Are you ready to have a real conversation with yourself?
Are you ready to honor yourself and do the work?
If you are, I'll always be there for you!
✅ P.S. Need a simple to follow step-by-step process to drink less? Check out my signature programs HERE.