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The Struggle of Saying NO

Updated: May 29, 2021

Did you have a plan to drink less this weekend?

Did you find yourself saying, "forget it", "I'll start tomorrow", "I guess I'll never figure out this drinking thing", "what's one drink?".

The struggle to say no in the moment can seem impossible. You just haven't practiced the tools to develop the skills enough, yet. You need to practice on a daily basis just as you would go to the gym to work you muscles.

Your brain "muscle" is the most important

muscle you have.

Your brain is all about the instant gratification of now. And that's ok. It was designed to seek pleasure for its primal survival. 

Your brain doesn't want to take the time to think about tomorrow or your health in 5 years or 10 years from now.

The small boring decisions we make right now-- today... 

make all the difference for your tomorrow.

You have a past self, a present self and a future self.

We spend too much time beating up the past self. Which makes the present self feel shame and guilt. The present self needs relief from that torment so the present self says "YES" to a drink without any regard of the future self.

The best way to stop this cycle is to first become aware of your present moment thoughts.

What do I mean? Just start to be an observer.

That's it.

Be an observer that doesn't have any judgements. Just be aware of your thoughts. 

There is a great tool that you can use and put into practice to become an observer of your thoughts. 

  1. Write a letter to your past self. It's easy to give advice to the 20 year old you. For example, don't go on that date with that boy, or don't get sucked up into that drama with your friend group, or don't drink at that party. You can also recognize the accomplishments that you did when you were the younger you. Thank yourself for the things you did do that helped you become the person your are today. It's an exercise to get your imagination flowing.

  2. Then the next day, write a letter to your future self. This might be a little harder. What are you going to promise to yourself that you will do today to make your future self proud. What little steps in commitment to your health are you willing to do to make your future self thank you later for?

  3. On the third day, write a letter from your future self to your present self. This letter will be full of thanks and advice to keep you on track. It will be like receiving a high five from the you you have become.

Every step you do today to work on yourself WILL add up to the person you ARE becoming.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to work on the most important relationship you have in your life.

The relationship with YOURSELF!

If you don't work on that first you won't have much to give to others.

It is not selfish.

How many times have we used the example of put your breathing mask on first before you help someone next to you?

Keep practicing the tools I share with you. It's not just a "one and done" situation. Do them repeatedly.

Don't throw in the towel and say to yourself, "I tried that and it didn't work"! You've already been doing that and it's the biggest reason why people get stuck. 

You must try and evaluate, use curiosity and not judgement.

✅ P.S. Need a simple to follow step-by-step process to drink less? Check out my signature programs HERE.

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