Updated: May 29, 2021
What are we really missing out on? I started asking myself am I missing out on the "party" or am I missing out on my own fabulous life?
When I look back on my drinking career I remember how I never wanted to miss out on any fun or a party. It seemed as though I was constantly planning the next party or activity that had booze involved (for the record I still plan a lot of fun things and go out with friends, I just don't drown the time and memories with booze). I would never miss out. I was the party girl. People liked to party with me. I was a great hostess and I was fun to have at a party.
Whenever I arrived at a party I always moved through the niceties quickly and then moved on over to the bar or to wherever the drinks were being served. I looked forward to catching that buzz. I didn't seem to have as much shame around drinking at a party because everyone else was, too. And, if I had too much to drink, perhaps no one would notice because they were all drinking, as well.
Catching that buzz became a chase for the buzz, then an all out sprint to keep up with it. I lost the shut off button and just kept going. Then, BOOM! I'd be drunk. I'd maintain myself. I was a great actress. I could really keep things "under control" (80% of the time).
The pain of over drinking never settled in until the next day. That's where it all unwinds and comes crashing down into the reality that I was living. I was living in a prison of shame, and physically feeling like a@#!
Of course, I stepped up to the level in my drinking career where I was having a hard time remembering what I drank, what I said, and how I acted. I HATED that.
Especially the lost moments with my children and husband.
I hated it when I had been to an elegant party and met elegant people. I would remember meeting them, and recalling that we had a deep conversation-we bonded- but I couldn't remember a freakin' thing about what we shared.
Over time, I realized that I was on a new level of FOMO. It wasn't the party I was missing out on, it was LIFE!
I started to have FOMO of my own life and the memories that I was losing. I started to wake up and see that I was not living to my potential. Yes, my life was/is pretty steady and quite wonderful. But, the struggle that lived in my mind was causing me to miss out.
I spent way too much time fighting the devil in my thoughts. The self-loathing, the empty promises, the physical pains (headache, bloat, weight gain, water retention, cravings for junk food, etc.).
Things are very different for me now. It has been a work in progress/I have been a work in progress. I have had slips.
I'm not sharing this story to drag myself or you through my past. It's just a story that perhaps you can relate to. I know now that my past is just a story- a story that I don't live in anymore, just a memory that doesn't keep me from creating my AWESOME future. I don't use it for evidence that I can't do hard things because I have the memories of my mistakes. I now look at my past and how I've changed. I have evidence that I can do hard things and I'm better now.
My precious thoughts are filled with the things I am going to do. I'm forward thinking. Not past focused.
Living in the story of your past keeps you stuck. No one wants to be stuck.
Of all the thoughts you can choose from, why choose a thought that keeps you stuck?
Choose thoughts that define who you are at your highest level.
I share this walk down memory lane to have you look at what you FOMO.
What's more important FOMO of a "party" or happy hour?
Or FOMO of your own life?
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