Everyone has a story about their drinking. We can find a lot of similarities in them. Here is mine.
Behind the Picture
There are so many pictures of me where I look healthy and worry free. But the truth is behind so many pictures there is a sad woman feeling shame about her drinking. I was always the picture of someone who had it together. A happy marriage, fantastic kids, great friendships, involved in the community, etc. The problem, for me, was that I had a bad habit of drinking too often and sometime too much. It seemed as though I was equating drinking my Chardonnay to making my life fun, and my Chardonnay was the only way to end a full day of busyness. It was a habit that I was too attached to. It's hard to let go of something that has its "benefits". It all worked until it didn't work any more. I wanted to not only stop over drinking I wanted to stop thinking about drinking.
Of course, I looked for answers for the reasons how and why this is a part of my life. Where did it all turn in my past to get me to the place that I was in? How did I get here? There had to be a way to go back in time and see where it all started so I could repair it and get rid of the torment that my drinking was giving me. The answers, so I thought, could be found, but what good would that do if I wanted to stop this behavior.
I knew that for ME going to meetings or putting a label on myself, an "alcoholic", was not going to help me. I didn't want to make a big deal about it. Too much focus on the bad or negative hadn't and wouldn't work.
Thank goodness my endless searching came to fruition. Through some training about my thoughts and urges, understanding feelings and actions, I could get the results that I wanted. I have back the control of my drinking. I sometimes wish I had found this before. I like to think that my journey happened the way it was supposed to happen. I am here now, right where I need to be. I am able to share what I have learned and I am able to teach the same tools to other women. I became a Certified Life Coach. I love that I have that certification. So many aspects in my life have merged together to get me exactly here. I am also a Credentialed school teacher and my B.A. is Speech Communication. Put those all together and I am ready to do my job- which is to help others.
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