Updated: May 29, 2021
Now you know what an urge is, what do you do now? I hope you had a chance to pause and listen to your thoughts around the urges you have been experiencing. I want to show you a bigger picture about what happens with your thoughts. The next step is to understand that your thoughts create your feelings. What??
I used to think my feelings came before my thoughts. I also thought a feeling was an isolated sensation and that there was no connection to my thoughts. The amazing thing about that knowledge is that we can control our feelings by our thoughts! Here is an example. You're going about your happy day and then you get bad news about your favorite Auntie has passed away. It's not the death that makes you sad it's your thoughts about her death. The memories (thoughts) that surface about how much you love her, the fun you had, etc. The reason why this is true is because your husband has also heard the same news and he was never a fan of your favorite Auntie. His thoughts about her death do not make him as sad as you are. You have a different experience and interpretation of the news than perhaps anyone else because of your thoughts around the news.
Think, Feel, Act
Now that you understand that our thoughts create our feelings. Our thoughts and feelings also create how we act. Which then ultimately gives us the results that we have in our lives. Thoughts like, "I deserve this", "it's unfair that I can't just drink 'normally'", "just one won't hurt", "I'll start tomorrow", can create the feeling of not being in control. We then feel weak and give in to the urge. We go for the wine and pour ourselves a glass. It's almost like it happens so quickly and we have no control. We think our actions are generated from our feelings alone. It all blurs together and we don't realize that without a doubt, there was a thought that spurred our feelings which made us act (pour the drink).
Interrupting the cycle within the think, feel, act is where you begin to experience your success. You are now an observer of your thoughts, your feelings associated with the thoughts, and now you have the choice to give in to the urge or just ride it out. Challenge yourself to collect one hundred urges. I'm not talking about will power, I'm talking about complete awareness and not hiding from the discomfort. If you have started collecting your one hundred urges, and you give in to one, you don't need to start back at square one, you just continue on your way to collecting your one hundred urges. This journey will make you more aware of your thoughts, feelings and actions. And to me, my friend, that is success.
✅ P.S. Need a simple to follow step-by-step process to drink less? Check out my signature programs HERE.